dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
