I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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