What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
