So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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