Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't deserve a penis
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
