And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
