No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
