I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
