i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Found the puke drawer
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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