I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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