just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
