Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
