i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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