watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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