I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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