Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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