As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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