My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
