She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
