i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
