Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
