ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
