it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I had to cum in my sink.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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