You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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