Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
