Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
