she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
