yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
