I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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