All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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