Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
