Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
