I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
