The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
