hotel room ftw
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
