My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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