i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
