Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Found your dick twin last night
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
