Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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