a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
