he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
