office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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