Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
