SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
