Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
