I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
