I got chris browned last night
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
