The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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