I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
