Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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