pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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